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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866695">Know My Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Courtship, Dancing, Eventual Smut, F/F, Slow Burn, Sparring</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:13:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,886</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Slow burn leading to eventual Josephine/Cadash relationship, plenty of other characters feature too. First chapter includes the fallout of Cassandra's gay panic cutscene. Title is taken from Transfigurations 12, verse 3. SPOILERS: Contains references to plot events from Haven through to the end of Trespasser.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Cadash/Josephine Montilyet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josephine stood on the ramparts looking down into the fighting ring that had just been built. They had been in Skyhold only a few days, but it had already been vastly improved, thanks in no small part to her own tireless efforts. She had just finished overseeing the preparations for the Inquisitor’s quarters. Lady Cadash had barely been in Skyhold since they’d arrived – she’d left to look for quarries and logging stands to supply the materials to fortify the walls almost as soon as they’d arrived after the attack on Haven. Josephine knew it was necessary, that it was the Inquisitor trying to assuage her guilt, that she was determined to make Skyhold as safe as possible. And yet, Josephine wished she had stayed a little longer. Wished she had seen more of Skyhold and its potential. Wished she had allowed herself to rest and heal. She’d faced an archdemon and been buried under an avalanche only to have to walk for miles in a blizzard to reach the camp. Josephine would not voice her displeasure though – it was not fitting, and she knew the Inquisitor would never allow personal pain or fatigue to interfere. And so, the Ambassador worked to make everything as ready as it could be for when the party returned. The Iron Bull was in the ring with his lieutenant Cremissius and their grunts echoed up to the ramparts. Cassandra and Cullen watched at the side, discussing their manoeuvres. Josephine was no stranger to violence or to weapons – Leliana had taught her how to conceal daggers in her sleeves all those years ago and she knew how to wield them. Although her own philosophy would always be diplomacy and violence never the answer in her book, she admired the subtlety and grace of assassins, even the elegance and skill of mages. Warriors, however, were another matter entirely. She could not fathom the brute force, the reckless charging at the enemy, the relentless battering. Still, one needed warriors and there was no denying their bravery or skill. It was just that they didn’t make sense in Josephine’s world. Which was why she was less than impressed when she saw a familiar figure enter the ring. Cadash and her party, Cole and Blackwall and Dorian, had just returned. Soldiers, merchants and craftsmen greeting them with enthusiasm. Uisdean clasped Cullen’s extended forearm, hailed Bull and Krem, bowed low to Vivienne who had come down from her balcony to see them returned. She gave only a nod to Cassandra and few other than Josephine or Leliana would have observed this coldness between them. She knew the Inquisitor and the Seeker had developed a close bond and it was unusual for Cassandra not to be in her party. Perhaps there had been some sort of misunderstanding? Josephine filed it away for later and hurried down to the ring. When she reached it, Cadash was twirling a pair of daggers eyeing off with Cassandra who was still on the outside of the ring.</p><p>“It wouldn’t be a fair fight. Daggers against sword and shield is not an even match.”  </p><p>“Try me.” Cadash replied, still spinning the blades across her fingers.</p><p>“This is ridiculous, I’m not going to fight you, Inquisitor. Daggers aren’t even your main weapon.”</p><p>“Well I can’t use my bow, can I?”</p><p>“I won’t risk injuring you.”</p><p>Cadash’s eyes glittered dangerously “Who’s to say <em>I</em> won’t be injuring <em>you</em>?”</p><p>Josephine looked to Vivienne for some sort of explanation, but she merely rolled her eyes. A crowd had gathered, and Josephine knew Cassandra would have to fight. Why the Inquisitor had challenged her in the first place Maker only knew. Josephine could feel a headache coming on.</p><p>“Come on boss, just a bit of friendly sparring. No need to get personal.” Iron Bull said, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>“That’s all I’ve been asking for, a sparring partner. Seeker Pentaghast seems unwilling however.” Cadash’s tone was light and nonchalant, but Josephine could see the set of her jaw, the fire in her eyes. Something was wrong. Cassandra was beginning to rise to the bait, she now had a grim expression on her face and she squared her shoulders.</p><p>“Very well. If you insist. I would still prefer if you used a shield though.”</p><p>Cadash smirked and picked up a dwarven round shield, sheathing one dagger. It was a sturdy wooden thing with iron studs but small, made for dwarf arms. Next to Cassandra’s longsword and tower-shield, it looked ridiculous. The crowd had picked up on the tension between the two and had gone quiet, muted murmurs replacing the hubbub of earlier. It was clear this was not simply a sparring match, neither woman had picked blunted weapons. Josephine’s heart was hammering in her chest as they began to circle each other. She was about to raise her voice to intervene, to stop this foolishness when she felt a hand on her arm. It was Leliana. She’d appeared out of nowhere, silent and cat like as ever. She shook her head and murmured,</p><p>“Wait a moment. Let them work it out, whatever it is.”</p><p>“But the Inquisitor could be hurt. They <em>both</em> could.”</p><p>Varric and Sera came out of the tavern and joined the crowd looking perplexed, even Solas had appeared at the top of the stairs leading to the great hall.</p><p>“It’s not a fair fight. She’s only got daggers and she’s just got back from a quest.” Josephine argued, still in hushed tones.</p><p>“If you stop them now, they both lose face and whatever this is remains unresolved. They’ve gone too far now to stop, there are too many people watching.” Leliana replied.</p><p>Josephine made a noise of disgust and rubbed her temples. Cassandra towered over the rogue and Josephine half-expected it to be over in a second. Cadash was quick though, ducking and weaving, slipping past the longsword to jab at Cassandra’s legs and torso. She moved with a strong stance light on her feet and nimble in her turns and steps. Neither woman landed a blow at first, Cadash unable to find a gap in Cassandra’s defence and the Seeker unable to catch the dwarf long enough to hit. Suddenly, as the warrior lunged at her, the rogue slipped under her arm and sliced at her hamstring drawing blood. Cassandra cried out in pain and hobbled a little before regaining her balance and taking an almighty swing at Cadash. The dwarf blocked it with her shield which splintered under the force of the blow. Josephine, along with most of the crowd, had gasped thinking it was the end of the Inquisitor but when the Ambassador uncovered her eyes, she saw the longsword embedded in the shield and Cadash wrenching it out of Cassandra’s hands. She discarded the ruined shield and grimaced, her shield arm was jarred and numb. Breathing heavily and furious at losing her sword, Cassandra threw her own shield down and drew the dagger at her belt. They circled again, both armed with only a dagger. Cadash lunged and was blocked but as they struggled, locking blades, she fell to the floor on her hands, her legs powerfully kicking Cassandra’s feet out from under her. The Seeker fell to her knees with a grunt and dropped her dagger while Cadash leapt back to her feet. She may have won the bout then if she hadn’t waited for Cassandra to retrieve her dagger. As it was the Nevarran picked up her dagger and swung it across her body backhanded in one long move to catch the dwarf in the temple with the hilt. Cadash crumpled and Cassandra pounced, pinning her to the ground holding her blade to her throat. Josephine could see Cassandra shaking with rage and adrenaline and for a moment she thought the Seeker would actually kill the Inquisitor. But then the strangest thing happened, Cadash began to laugh and looked fondly up at Cassandra. She murmured something to her that the crowd didn’t hear and it made the Seeker laugh too, shakily at first but it turned into a throaty chuckle that Josephine had never heard before. She stood and helped the Inquisitor up, they clasped forearms in friendship and Cadash led the way to the tavern, beckoning the bemused crowd to join. Josephine turned to Leliana who had a knowing smile on her face.</p><p>“What, for the love of Andraste, was all that about?”</p><p>“It’s not for me to tell Josie. Ask the Inquisitor yourself.” Leliana left, heading for her tower rather than the tavern.</p><p>“Leliana? Ugh!” Josephine threw up her hands at the Spymaster’s retreating figure and found herself alone in the now quiet courtyard. She still had a headache brewing and needed some peace to think so made her way to the gardens which were empty except for Adan and El’an Vemal harvesting herbs.</p><p>The afternoon sun was setting and the last rays made the air golden and hazy. The garden was more sheltered than most of Skyhold and as Josephine took a bench near the fragrant prophet’s laurel the stone wall at her back was still warm from the sun it had absorbed. She settled herself and took some deep breaths, stretching the kinks from her neck. Her heart rate had finally slowed and she allowed herself to re-live the fight. It had frightened her, made her anxious. But… but there had been something more. It had thrilled her, watching Cadash move she’d been entranced. She’d taken off her armour to spar, wearing only a sleeveless chainmail shirt. The chainmail had been made to fit her so sat snugly at the top of her thighs, leaving her strong legs clearly outlined in her leather breeches. Her arms had been bare, the skin above her biceps pale where the sun didn’t usually reach. Josephine had wanted to trace that line with her finger, the edge where brown became white. Her lithe, nimble movements had surprised Josephine. She had always thought dwarves rather slow and solid, oddly shaped even. But she saw now that they were… compact. Yes, that was the word. Strength and grace condensed into a firm, small body – nothing of the willowy Elf or tall Human in her, there was no excess, she used no more space than was necessary. Josephine imagined those small, deft hands running over her body and shivered. Maker! Where had that come from? She blushed as the two apothecaries nodded politely at her, leaving the garden with their baskets full. Her peace was interrupted moments later by none other than Cassandra. She didn’t see Josephine at first and went to the well, scooping up some water and drinking from her cupped hands. She leant with her hands on the well and seemed deep in thought. Not wanting to alarm her but equally uncomfortable spying on her, Josephine cleared her throat delicately. Cassandra jumped</p><p>“Maker’s breath! You startled me, Lady Montilyet!”</p><p>“My apologies, Seeker Pentaghast. I did not wish you to think I was snooping.”</p><p>Cassandra raised her eyebrows amused “You? Snooping? I would never presume.”</p><p>Josephine laughed a little “I leave that to Leliana.”</p><p>“Quite.”</p><p>They stood in silence for a moment before Josephine gestured to the bench.</p><p>“Would you care to join me? The garden is always so invigorating at this time of evening.”</p><p>“Invigorating…”</p><p>“You’re teasing me, I can tell.”</p><p>“Not at all. It’s just, your grasp of words always amazes me. I can never find words.”</p><p>“You keep your sword sharp Seeker, words are my weapon.”</p><p>Cassandra sat and stretched her legs out, crossing them at the ankle. She winced and picked at the bandaging round her thigh.</p><p>“Does it hurt?”</p><p>“Like a demon. The Inquisitor knows where to stick those arrows and daggers of hers, I’ll give her that.”</p><p>“Why were the two of you fighting?”</p><p>“It was just a sparring session.” Cassandra flicked her eyes away nervously.</p><p>“I am not as much of an imbecile as you suppose me to be. You were fighting, you both wanted to hurt each other.”</p><p>“It’s complicated.”</p><p>“I am usually able to grasp complex issues.”</p><p>Cassandra sighed and rubbed her hand over her face.</p><p>“You must promise not to tell Varric.”</p><p>“I promise.” Josephine stilled Cassandra’s plucking fingers “Here, let me.” She unwound the linen strip and saw the thin but deep gash, the edges of the skin parting like lips. “This needs cleaning, I thought you would take better care of your wounds.”</p><p>“I didn’t want to draw attention to it.”</p><p>Josephine tssked in frustration and drew some water from the well, picked some elfroot ointment and a roll of linen from a healer’s basket. She settled herself on the ground at Cassandra’s feet and began to wash the cut.</p><p>“You don’t have to do that.”</p><p>“Hush. Now, explain what has happened between you and Lady Cadash.”</p><p>“You know we have grown close?”</p><p>Josephine only nodded, letting Cassandra speak at her own pace.</p><p>“What you may not know is that she prefers women. I did not know myself until she told me of a girl she had loved when she was younger. I am ashamed to admit it now, but I found myself withdrawing from her. I worried she was trying to court me - she had been so kind, and we were so easy in each other’s company. I pulled her aside and told her, as gently as I could, that I was not interested. She brushed it off, saying she never had any romantic intentions. But she made me a helmet, with the bones from the Ferelden Frostback. She knew I had wanted to be a dragon hunter when I was younger, it was beautiful and such fine craftsmanship. It was the finest piece of armour I’ve ever had. But it frightened me, I refused it. When she asked me why, I said – Andraste, it makes me sick to remember – I said ‘If I take it then you will expect me to lie with you and I’d rather lose my head than do that’…” She trailed off and Josephine stayed silent.</p><p>“Have I shocked you, Lady Ambassador?”</p><p>“A little perhaps. Unwanted attentions are always a struggle to handle delicately however.”</p><p>“I was frightened, angry even, that she persisted in her attentions. But, looking back, I see she was only showing kindness, caring for me. It was my own foolishness that got me so worked up. Her face when I said that awful thing, I have never seen her look so truly defeated, so hopeless. I could not bring myself to see her after that. She left for the Storm Coast the next morning, she took Warden Blackwall, and I only knew of the quest after they had left.”</p><p>“That must have been hard.”</p><p>“In truth I was relieved at first, it seemed easier that way. But as the days drew on, I knew it was a mistake to let it fester. When she arrived today, we had not seen each other since I had been so hateful. She invited me to spar, I believe it was a peace offering at first. But it escalated all too quickly. Well, you saw the fight for yourself.”</p><p>“I am curious. What did she say to you? To make you laugh and release her?”</p><p>Cassandra blushed a little “She told me this was the only way to get me comfortable enough to look her in the eyes again. She also called me a foolish, stubborn woman but it was said with affection, so I shall let it slide. She knows me well, better than most. I would never have been able to talk to her to resolve it, so she made us fight it out.”</p><p>“And you are reconciled?”</p><p>“Yes. I believe we are, though it will take time to heal no doubt.”</p><p>Josephine shook her head in bewilderment “I don’t understand it. This business of fixing problems by injuring one another.”</p><p>Cassandra shrugged “Not all of us have the words, my lady, sometimes words make it worse.”</p><p>Josephine had finished binding the cut on Cassandra’s thigh “How does that feel?”</p><p>“Better. Thank you. We should go in, there is a chill in the night air.”</p><p>They stood and strolled together towards the door. It was only as they reached it that Josephine found the courage to ask her next question.</p><p>“And… and there is no understanding between the two of you?”</p><p>“I’m sorry?”</p><p>“You are not… courting?”</p><p>“Maker, no! She is dear to me, as I am to her. I would go so far as to say she loves me, but we do not have feelings for each other, not in that way. I am rather old fashioned in that I only enjoy men in that regard.” Cassandra turned suddenly to Josephine “Why do you ask?”</p><p>“I – there is no reason, none at all. Whatsoever.”</p><p>Cassandra smirked “Have no fear. I shall not tell.”</p><p>“There is nothing to tell! I merely – ugh!” Josephine hid her face in her hands “It is foolish of me I know. How can I even hope to think of such things at a time like this? She is the Inquisitor.”</p><p>“At a time like this it is even more important to follow one’s heart. To take precious moments when we can. Speak to her, spend time with her, she may surprise you.”</p><p>“I had not expected such romance, such sentimentality from you.”</p><p>Cassandra frowned a little “No one would.”</p><p>Josephine took both Cassandra’s hands in her own and spoke earnestly “Then we are all mistaken. I have seldom known such a passionate and honest individual. I can see why Lady Cadash feels safer with you by her side Seeker.”</p><p>“She said that?” Cassandra looked pleased</p><p>“I have heard her say she would go anywhere, face anything, if you were beside her.”</p><p>“That is good to hear. Thank you for telling me.” She smiled warmly at Josephine “Please, call me Cassandra.”</p><p>“And you must call me Josephine.”</p><p>“Goodnight then, Josephine.”</p><p>“Goodnight Cassandra.”</p><p>Cassandra left and Josephine made her way to her desk. It would be some hours before she went to bed, there was still so much paperwork to do. When she did finally fall into bed though she drifted off trying to recall the exact pattern of the intricate tattoos on Cadash’s face. Trying to imagine what it would be like to trace them with her lips.</p><p> </p><p>Cadash brushed the cobwebs from her face and stretched her legs. The place went on for miles and with all the stairs it was hard work on her thighs and calves. It had clearly been built for tall-folk, the steps were all a little too high for her to use comfortably and the doorways made her feel miniscule. Still, she doubted any dwarf, surface-dweller or no, had ever been this close to touching the sky so it was to be expected that she felt a little out of place. The walls were made of a grey-brown granite that grew honey coloured in the sun and looked black under frost. She loved to run her hands over the individual blocks, feel the grooves and pits, reading the stone and its stories. Though all her life had been lived on the surface, she’d been born with Stone sense. The way stone felt alive when you laid your hand on it in the dark, the way it pulsated. The stone in Skyhold was old, very old and not unfriendly, just a little wary of the strangers. When no one was looking she would take the small rock-hammer at her belt and chip away at imperfections, polishing edges until the specific block she had picked looked proud and smooth once more. Varric or Solas might have understood but Cassandra would have been horrified, Vivienne might have laughed, Josephine been bemused. It was better not to let her companions know that she spoke to the walls. Going up an unfamiliar staircase she reached a wooden door and swung it open only to find herself in the corridor that led to the main hall on the right and to the war table on the left. She knew Josephine had set up a desk in the antechamber and Cadash decided to go and speak to her, she hadn’t greeted her properly since returning. Opening the door, she saw the Ambassador hunched over her desk, the nib of her quill scratching away.</p><p>“Herald – Lady Inquisitor – I mean…” she smiled apologetically “Cadash. It is good to see you.”</p><p>“And it is a pleasure to see you Josephine. I wanted to thank you for all the work you have overseen in my absence. My quarters are magnificent.”</p><p>“I am glad you approve, I was not sure of the decoration choices.”</p><p>“They are impeccable. I trust all has been well whilst I was away?”</p><p>“There are numerous matters that require your attention but none that cannot wait for the war table. We are fast securing allies, the matter of the throne in Orlais is concerning however. Not least considering what you saw in the future of Lord Seeker Lucius.”</p><p>“Yes. That has been on my mind. I believe we will need to act soon though I am cautious of rushing in before we are ready, I would like us to be in as strong a position as possible before we approach Halamshiral.”</p><p>“Very wise. I will work on ensuring our connections are favourable, Orlais will need every ounce of diplomacy and charm we can muster.”</p><p>Cadash grimaced “Neither are my strong suit I am afraid.”</p><p>“You give yourself too little credit, my lady. You are a skilled negotiator though you may not always realise that is what you are doing. And as for charm, well, that can be taught.”</p><p>“So, I am un-charming?”</p><p>“No! I didn’t mean – you’re teasing me, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Forgive me Josephine. I am well aware of the strict etiquette in Orlais and of my complete incomprehension of it. You need not worry, I shall follow your instructions to the letter when the time comes.”</p><p>“The protocols can all be learnt but you won’t need me to teach you how to be likeable. You are quite charming all on your own.” Here she suddenly looked flustered and began to study her notes as though they were of vital importance. Cadash’s heart fluttered. Surely not? Josephine couldn’t possibly feel that way, could she?</p><p>“I am loath to part with such pleasant company. Would you like to walk with me? I have yet to see all of Skyhold.”</p><p>“A tour? A splendid idea, I shall arrange one of the stewards to escort you.”</p><p>“That wasn’t what I meant.”</p><p>“No? Well, perhaps another time. I really must attend to these letters. Good day to you, Inquisitor.”</p><p>And thus dismissed Cadash had no alternative but to bow and leave. She turned back at the door to glance at Josephine and saw her staring hard at her parchment but not really reading it, her brow knitted and biting her lower lip. Cadash noticed, not for the first time, that Josephine’s hair shone in firelight and felt another stirring in her chest. Closing the door quietly she tried to supress the budding excitement she felt and went to the undercroft to still her mind. She didn’t craft armour or weapons though, she melted down some gold plate she’d looted and began to fashion a comb out of it. It was a simple enough design, but she engraved an intricate rune pattern round the handle and set an amethyst in it. The tines were long and narrow, the handle smooth and solid. The light coming through the waterfall had dimmed by the time she finished, and she polished it by the glow of some candles and the forge. Harrit came over to inspect and hummed in appreciation “You’re not just a blacksmith, my lady, you’re an artist.”</p><p>“As are you Harrit” She gestured at her newest armour he had ready for fitting “That is as fine a piece as I have ever seen, made by man or dwarf.”</p><p>He nodded his head in acknowledgement and went to douse the forge now that she was done. She bade him and Dagna goodnight and climbed the stairs back to the main hall. The comb she wrapped in some velveteen and left in her quarters, now was not the time to give it to Josephine. Perhaps later, when Cadash was surer of her own intentions. Now was no time to be leading people on when she could not even promise the next day, let alone forever.</p><p>            </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A surprise ball at Skyhold leads to unexpected confessions.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cassandra cursed the winding streets and numerous levels of the Summer Bazaar as she searched for Cadash and Dorian. Iron Bull she could see at the tavern, he stood out enough to spot him in the crowd, but Dorian’s flashy clothes made him harder to pick out from the Orlesians. As for the Inquisitor, she was tiny and a rogue which meant it was difficult to see her at the best of times. Cassandra had still not gotten used to addressing her commander at thigh-level. She was no stranger to dwarves, but she’d never had dealings with one where she wasn’t looking down on them, literally and figuratively. Now, she had one whom she looked up to whilst looking down at, she thought wryly. Rounding a corner, she spotted Dorian’s staff slung on his back, its crystal tip bobbing above the heads of the crowd and she made a beeline for it. He and Cadash were stood at a merchant’s stall that sold, as far as Cassandra could tell, musical instruments.</p><p>“Go on, get it.” Dorian urged.</p><p>“I can’t, it’s an extravagance. Ser Morris would have a fit.”</p><p>“Well let me buy it for you then.”</p><p>“No, Dorian. It’s too expensive. Besides I’d never have the time to play it.”</p><p>“What are you two plotting now?” Cassandra asked, coming up behind them.</p><p>“Maker! Cassandra, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that, you’re terrifying enough as it is.” Dorian flashed her a smile and she grimaced in return.</p><p>“It’s this.” Cadash said shyly, indicating a set of bagpipes that Cassandra didn’t recognise. “They’re dwarven elbow pipes, very rare to find them on the surface outside of Orzammar. I used to love playing them.” She caressed the deepstalker-hide bag and the teak pipes, the silverite levers and drakestone studded bellows, a wistful expression on her face. Cassandra was about to ask the price but Cadash shook herself out of her reverie and turned to her</p><p>“Did you find the pommel schematic you needed?”</p><p>“Yes. And a stock of blank runestones for Dagna.”</p><p>“Excellent. We got the Arbour’s Blessing seeds and a new staff blade for Solas. I think that’s all we needed. Let’s return to Skyhold.”</p><p>They retrieved Iron Bull from the bench that was protesting under his weight and the mug of Antivan Sip-Sip he was ordering.</p><p>“You know they usually serve that in a glass, right?” Dorian quipped</p><p>“Yeah. A puny glass that breaks when you pick it up and only holds two mouthfuls. If I’m paying for a drink, I want it to be a good one.” Iron Bull hefted his axe onto his back and they set off at a brisk pace, eager to reach the fortress that had become home to each of them.</p><p>Some days later, Cassandra was practicing her parries only to have Dorian stroll over and whistle until she stopped and paid him attention.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Lovely to see you too. After all we’ve been through you still don’t like me Cassandra.”</p><p>“I don’t dislike you. We just have nothing in common.”</p><p>“You’d be surprised.” He studied her for a moment and then shrugged “Anyhow, that’s not what I came to ask you. I wondered if you’d be up for a little side quest, on the sly?”</p><p>“What madcap scheme are you concocting this time?”</p><p>“Madcap? Me? Never! A scheme though, yes. An intriguing one too.” He twirled his moustache and Cassandra clenched her jaw impatiently. “Oh very well, I’ll get to the point. You remember those pipes the Herald was admiring? In Val Royeaux?”</p><p>“Yes, why?”</p><p>“I thought we might all chip in to get them for her. She won’t allow spending Inquisition funds on it and she’s not got any money of her own since the Carta threw her out. I figure she’s owed a gift by now.”</p><p>“That’s… very thoughtful of you Dorian.”</p><p>“You sound surprised. Do you truly think so little of me?”</p><p>“No! It’s just – you always seem so nonchalant...”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean I don’t care for people. As a matter of fact, I care deeply about a great many things.”</p><p> “Yes. Forgive me. I hate it when people judge me before they know me properly, I should not have done so with you.”</p><p>“Goodness Cassandra, we may yet be friends.” Dorian picked up a battered helmet next to a dummy and tossed several gold coins into it. “Here, put in whatever you can and pass it round. I’m sure we’ll get enough even if people can only spare coppers, there’s enough of us for it all to add up. And not a word to Cadash, it will be a surprise.”</p><p>“I detest surprises.” Cassandra frowned at the helmet thrust into her hands.</p><p>“Of course you do.” Dorian rolled his eyes but continued in a softer tone “Whatever else we disagree on Cassandra, we both care for our Inquisitor. Let’s do this for her.”</p><p>“Yes. You’re right. I will pass it round everyone and meet you this evening to count it?”</p><p>“Excellent!” He nodded in farewell and wandered back up to the tower.</p><p>Cassandra was surprised at just how much money they had accumulated by the end of the day. Everyone, even those she had not specifically asked, had wanted to contribute. Refugees pressed coppers into her hands making Cassandra uncomfortable but Varric said “They want to, let them. It’s their way of saying thank you.” Merchants, soldiers, clergy, scouts, rich and poor all wanted to give, and it made Cassandra rather proud to see how many felt a part of the Inquisition and wished to give to its leader. It was testament to the Inquisitor’s unifying presence and Cassandra’s belief in the Maker’s hand at work was reaffirmed. Dorian and Iron Bull travelled to Val Royeaux the next day, taking Varric with them. Cassandra would have liked to go but her absence would be harder to explain. She spent the day assisting Cullen drilling the troops and was bone-tired when they stopped for the day, the late afternoon sun beginning to wane. Dorian and party rode in as she was filing the nicks out of her sword and oiling its leather grip. Iron Bull had a bundle wrapped in cotton and leather which he cradled as though a new-born babe.</p><p>“We’ll give it to her tonight. I believe Josephine has organised a little gathering in the Herald’s Rest.” Dorian swung off his horse as he spoke, winking at the stable hand who took the reins from him.</p><p>“Of course she has.” Cassandra rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Oh, come now! Just a small one, nothing extravagant.” Dorian clapped her on the shoulder and she saw Varric grin at her withering look which the mage either didn’t see or refused to notice.</p><p>“You’ll be there won’t you Seeker?” the dwarf asked, his tone teasing.</p><p>“Only if <em>you</em> promise not to tell any of your stories Varric.”</p><p>He and Dorian laughed good-naturedly but hurried away trying to screen Iron Bull, which was pitifully ridiculous, as Cadash appeared at the stairs coming down from Cullen’s office. She waved to Cassandra who waved back and felt suddenly excited at the thought of the secret gift. Perhaps surprises weren’t so bad after all.</p><p> </p><p>Any such generous sentiments were quickly crushed when she made her way to the party an hour later. The Herald’s Rest was empty and a sign on the door informed people that the gathering had been moved to the main hall due to lack of space. Cassandra had washed after training and put on clean clothes, but she’d left her armour and gauntlets off, let her braid drape over her shoulder rather than pinning it up. Had she realised the extent of Josephine’s ‘little’ gathering she’d have kept her armour firmly on. The main hall was heaving with people. Maryden had found some amateur musicians amongst the ranks and had recruited them, setting themselves up on the dias where the throne usually sat. Hall was tuning a fiddle, Elan Ve’mal had a wooden flute she was polishing whilst Korbin was warming a skin drum at the fire, twirling the beater in his hand as he chatted to Maryden. The rugs had been rolled back and the benches and tables lined the walls to leave an empty space for dancing. Both floors were open, and people hung over the railings of Vivienne’s balcony, looking down into the main space. Cassandra spotted Dorian and strode towards him.</p><p>“This is your doing I take it.”</p><p>“Me? No. The pipes were my idea, but all this is Josephine’s masterwork.”</p><p>“What happened to a small gathering in the Herald’s Rest?”</p><p>“There were too many people wanting to come, besides there’s more space to dance here.”</p><p>“Ugh!” Cassandra crossed her arms in disgust.</p><p>“Oh lighten up! Look at this it’s amazing! See there – Vivienne is talking to two common soldiers and a Tranquil. That Templar is pouring drinks for those apostates. Iron Bull has an Orlesian noblewoman fawning over him. That scullery maid is flirting with that stable hand because Cullen told him to try offering her a chair if he wanted to get her attention. <em>This</em> is the real power of the Inquisition, here in this room you’ve got people who would never have interacted with one another if they hadn’t been brought together tonight.”</p><p>Cassandra let herself smile “It is a wonderful sight, I’ll grant you.”</p><p>“Enjoy it, be a part of it.”</p><p>“I am talking to a Tevinter mage who wears more eyeliner than I do and am enjoying myself – I am already a part of it.”</p><p>Dorian grinned and, for once, didn’t have a wise crack to respond with. “I am glad.”</p><p>“As am I.”</p><p>They lapsed into companionable silence until Josephine appeared ushering a confused looking Cadash from her quarters. A cheer went up as she entered, and she blushed which only endeared her further to the crowd. A group approached her, those leading it held the bundle that Iron Bull had been cradling.</p><p>“Inquisitor” An old Elven man spoke, Cassandra recognised him as the widower from the Crossroads. “We bring you this gift as a token of our thanks and esteem. Each and every person in Skyhold has given what little they can to purchase it. We hope it brings you joy as you have brought joy to so many of us.” Lysette handed the bundle to Cadash who looked confused and pleased all at once. She opened it up and the look of delight on her face made Cassandra’s heart sing. Cadash was speechless until Josephine prodded her gently and she cleared her throat,</p><p> “My friends, I thank you, all of you, for this. I shall treasure it always, you cannot know how much this means to me.”</p><p>There was a cheer that turned into a general hubbub of excitement as the ale began to flow and Maryden started to strum her mandolin. Hall began to weave a tune and Elan Ve’mal listened for a moment, learning it before joining in. Korbin stomped his foot a little before pitching in with a rolling beat. The crowd whooped at the music and some began to clap along. Cadash had been admiring her pipes but her eyes lit up as the musicians began and she pulled a seat over to join them. Cassandra watched in fascination as she buckled the bag round her waist and pulled the bellows up to her elbow, laying the pipes across her lap and taking the chanter into her hands. Her fingers landed just so, on each hole and her wrists flexed to reach some valves. With a nervous grin she began to pump air into the bag and after a moment got a sound out of it. It was louder than Cassandra had expected, and it made her heart leap but in a good way. The Inquisitor somehow knew the tune being played and joined in, her foot stomping in time and her fingers dancing up and down the chanter. Cassandra, and many others in the hall, became mesmerised watching her play. She seemed to lose herself, a wild joy in her face and every part of her body playing the instrument. The song ended, and Cassandra applauded as loud as anyone, unable to keep the contagious energy from sweeping her along. Cadash gave a shout,</p><p> “Dancing! I want dancing!” A cheer went up and several couples made their way to the space in the centre of the hall. “This one’s Free Marcher tune but it should work for the Fereldan Square, everyone on your feet!” She counted in and brought the pipes to life again, the other musicians picking it up quickly. The dancing was stumbling at first as people got the hang of the tune but soon the hall was full of twirling and stamping, the more adventurous couples leaping high into the air on the lifts. Dorian attempted to pull Cassandra onto the floor, and she resisted, smiling but firm. He gave up and gave a good-natured shrug, taking a young apostate’s hand instead. Cassandra felt warm, happy and unafraid for the first time in months, it was a strange feeling and she found herself at a loss what to do with herself until Varric beckoned her to join him at a table. He poured her a mug of ale and passed it to her “Here you go Seeker.”</p><p>“Thank you Varric.” Cassandra took a sip and coughed a little, it had been some time since she last drank. “I have been thinking.”</p><p>“Oh yes?”</p><p>“I should like you to call me Cassandra.”</p><p>“I’m confused. Does this mean you don’t want to strangle me with my own innards anymore?”</p><p>She frowned, and he hurriedly continued “No. Forgive me, that was churlish. I should like very much to be friends.”</p><p>She raised her mug and Varric chinked it with his own. Cassandra smiled at the warmth in her chest that may be the ale, but she suspected it had to do with being happier than she had been in a long time.</p><p> </p><p>Leliana and Josephine were sat together, enjoying one another’s company. It had been too long since they had sat like this, chatting, laughing. Leliana found herself easing slightly, only a little, but it was more than she had done for years. Josephine sparkled tonight, there was a flush to her cheeks and a light in her eyes. Leliana studied her curiously, trying to discern what or <em>who</em> was the cause of it. Josephine was accomplished at the Game in her own right though and wasn’t as easy to read as she had been when Leliana had first known her. The lively dance music had quieted for a moment as the musicians took a break and Leliana took advantage of the relative quiet to murmur,</p><p>“So, who’s been courting you?”</p><p>She was impressed when Josephine managed to keep her face and voice neutral, it was her eyes that gave her away though, the pupils dilating ever so slightly.</p><p>“What on earth are you referring to, Leliana?”</p><p>“Oh come on Josie, you’re radiant, I can tell something’s going on.”</p><p>Josephine swatted her on the arm “Curse you and your powers of perception!”</p><p>“Aha, so there <em>is</em> someone!”</p><p>“It’s nothing yet… just some compliments, some gallantry. Nothing serious at all, just some fun.”</p><p>Leliana felt her hackles rise, whoever this person was they had better not be toying with Josephine’s affections. For all her Game-playing, Josephine was still vulnerable when it came to matters of the heart, it was not in her nature to take affection lightly whether given or received.</p><p>“Then they are a fool not to pursue you seriously. Who is it?”</p><p>Josephine squirmed a little, her flush deepening with embarrassment. Leliana was about to press harder when Cadash came up to them. She inclined her head a little to Leliana and gave her a warm smile. Leliana had to admit she found it endearing that she still took the trouble to bow every time they met. Now though, she realised she had been getting the informal version of the Inquisitor’s greeting as she watched the dwarf bow low from the waist to Josephine and press a kiss to her hand. The kiss lingered longer that was strictly necessary and Leliana narrowed her eyes. Josephine inclined her head graciously,</p><p> “It is good to see you. I hope you are enjoying your gift?”</p><p>“More than I can say, my lady. I understand I have you to thank for tonight’s revels.”</p><p>“It was my pleasure, I can scarcely believe how well it is going. Look, Madame de Fer is all but adopting that Tranquil.”</p><p>“His name is Clemence, we found him at Redcliffe. I thought the two of them might hit it off. They share an interest in alchemy and he wanted to be a Knight-Enchanter, before he was made Tranquil of course.” Cadash shook herself “But no unhappy thoughts tonight! I wondered, Lady Montilyet, if you would share the next dance with me?”</p><p>“Oh! I would be honoured Inquisitor.”</p><p>Josephine stood, and they strolled hand in hand to the dance floor as Maryden and Hall started to play a slower tune. It was an Antivan melody and Josephine laughed in surprised delight. Leliana rolled her eyes, Josephine was more enchanted than she had feared if she couldn’t see this had been planned. She moved to lean against a wall, so she could see the two of them better. Not many couples had joined in this one, the crowd was busy watching the Inquisitor and the Ambassador with curiosity.  The dance was slow but intense, with lots of intimate holds and intertwining steps looking into each other’s eyes. As it went on all the other couples stopped and moved back to allow Josephine and Cadash to sweep around the entire space. Leliana had to admit they moved well together, the dwarf surprisingly graceful. The last move was a lift that ended with both partners face to face, one arm around the waist and the other joined at the wrists above their heads. The two held the position for a beat after the music had ended, the tension between them palpable, their eyes locked, their hips pressed closer together than custom dictated. Dorian broke the silence with a wolf-whistle and clapping. The crowd joined in and the couple broke apart, took a little bow and then Josephine hurried over to Leliana, leaving Cadash in the middle of the floor. Leliana gripped Josephine by the upper arm and steered her out to the garden. The air was cold, and Josephine shivered under the Spymaster’s grip.</p><p>“Leliana, you’re hurting me.” Josephine protested.</p><p>She released her arm immediately “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I was holding so tight.”</p><p>Josephine rubbed her arm “It’s alright. Is something wrong?”</p><p>“Do you love her?”</p><p>“What?” Josephine looked incredulous and guilty all at once.</p><p>“Oh, come on Josie! Cadash - do you love her?”</p><p>“No! It’s just flirting. I-“ She lowered her eyes and bit her lip. “I don’t know. Maybe.”</p><p>“Is she aware of how strongly you feel?”</p><p>“No! I have given no indication. I will not presume her intentions are serious, I cannot.”</p><p>“Josie, you are giving her <em>indications</em> every time you look at her! You melt whenever she appears.”</p><p>“I may have got a little flustered when she complimented me after resolving the House of Repose affair in Val Royeaux.”</p><p>“And just now? While you were dancing?”</p><p>“It was just dancing, Leliana.” Josephine sighed as Leliana glared at her “Oh very well! I am entranced by her, I find myself going weak at the knees when I see her, I desire her – is this what you want to hear?”</p><p>“What I want is for you to be careful and not to get hurt.”</p><p>Josephine softened and looked fondly at Leliana “I know. I will be careful. You need not worry.”</p><p>She pressed a kiss to Leliana’s cheek and made her way back to the hall but stopped at the door to turn and threaten “Leliana, if I find out you’ve spoken to her about this, I shall break my rule about niceness before knives.”</p><p>Leliana only crossed her arms defiantly. When Josephine had left, she scuffed at the ground with her boot. This was going to need some careful manoeuvring but, Inquisitor or not, if Cadash hurt Josephine, Leliana was going to kill her with her bare hands.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rating change: Explicit for this chapter. Josephine/Cadash smut. Basically this is what happens when Bioware don't give your romance-partner a fiery enough cut scene. Normal plot and narrative to be resumed next chapter but this one is just PWP. Warning: mentions scars and injury detail</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cadash could hardly believe what she was hearing. Josephine had thought she was merely flirting, she had not ‘dared to presume’. As they shyly moved closer together, their hands intertwining lightly, Cadash determined to show Josephine just how serious she was. The first tentative press of her lips against Josephine’s sent shockwaves through her and she shuddered. Josephine smiled against her mouth and cupped her face in both hands to pull her closer and kiss her firmly. As Cadash slid her hands round Josephine’s waist, the Ambassador’s leg bent at the knee, lifted in a gesture that made the dwarf chuckle inwardly. Such a romantic princess at heart! That thought was blasted out of her head moments later when Josephine ran her tongue round the inside of Cadash’s top lip in a decidedly un-princess-like fashion. She could not keep from groaning and the noise made Josephine repeat the action. They broke apart breathless and flushed, questions in their eyes. Josephine was not wrong, they hardly knew one another, they had just met. And yet, her skin was aching at the loss of Josephine’s.</p><p>“You’ve made me quite giddy.” Josephine said, leaning back to catch her breath.</p><p>“Do you want to stop?” Cadash asked although she did not see how she could bring herself to relinquish Josephine now.</p><p>“No. I would like to wait until this evening though, once we are less likely to be disturbed.”</p><p>As if to prove her point, one of Leliana’s ravens cawed loudly at the window, resting on the balcony on its way to the rookery. They could both see the scroll attached to its leg and knew it could be any number of important replies they were awaiting. Josephine gave an exasperated chuckle,</p><p> “I bet you she’s sent that bird here on purpose! Until tonight, my lady, though I am certain I shan’t concentrate one little bit on a single task.”</p><p>She took Cadash’s hand and bent her head to kiss the palm. Cadash gasped at the feel of Josephine’s mouth on her sensitive anchor hand and the anchor itself began to pulsate and hum. Josephine noticed and pulled back in alarm,</p><p>“Have I hurt you?”</p><p>“No! It feels… wonderful.”</p><p>Cadash traced her hand from Josephine’s mouth to her neck marvelling at the way Josephine’s skin seemed to make the anchor sing. They stood for a moment, only a breath apart, enjoying the tension. Then with a sweet desperation their lips met again in a fierce kiss broken by the sound of the bell summoning the faithful to midday prayers. Josephine clasped the Inquisitor’s hands tightly in her own then left the room, casting back a longing glance before shutting the door. Cadash put her hands over her eyes, taking several deep breaths, trying to calm the pounding of her heart and the throbbing between her legs. This was going to be the longest afternoon of her life.</p><p> </p><p>*             *              *             *</p><p> </p><p>When Josephine appeared in her chambers late that night, carrying a lit candle to find her way through the dark corridors, Cadash sighed. Maker, the woman was stunning! Her honey skin and golden eyes glowed in the warm candlelight and her dark hair glossy as wet obsidian. She placed the candle on the small table next to the sofa and turned to Cadash, her eyes dark with kohl and heavy-lidded with desire.</p><p>“I want you to undress me. Now. No courting or pleasantries. I think I may die if you do not touch me soon.”</p><p>Cadash’s throat went dry and she felt her core throb at the thought of Josephine being desperate and wet all through her meetings this afternoon. She drew the Ambassador to sit on the bed and began to undress her. First the heavy chain round her neck and the cravat, undoing the pearl button that held everything in place round her throat. Cadash leaned in and licked at the notch above Josephine’s collar bones. Then, she unbuckled the leather belt round her waist and unwound the golden sash round her hips. Every layer removed made Josephine’s breath hitch and her skin come closer towards Cadash’s eager fingers. Trying not to tremble, she undid the buttons on her long purple waistcoat, one by one, agonisingly slowly, pulling it off her shoulders. The slippers came off next and then the blouse, Josephine lifting her arms into the air as Cadash pulled it up from the hem, moaning as Josephine’s belly and breasts came into view. Unwinding her breastband, Cadash ghosted her fingers over Josephine’s cleavage but went no further, not yet. At last, only her leggings remained which Cadash rolled down, Josephine laying back and lifting her hips to let the waistband slip past her buttocks. Now completely bare Josephine sprawled back on the bed, raising herself slightly on her elbows and demanded,</p><p>“You too. I want to see you.”</p><p>Cadash stripped quickly, her own clothes much less complicated. Clambering onto the bed and crawling up Josephine’s body she pressed a kiss to her mouth, swallowing a moan released from the Ambassador as their skin met. Breasts, bellies, hips, thighs, everything pressed against one another, hot and shivery all at once. Cadash rolled Josephine’s nipples between her fingers and the Antivan gasped, her back arching into her touch. Cupping her face and kissing her hard, Josephine rolled them so she was straddling Cadash. She traced her hand down between her breasts and teased over her hipbones, up her thigh to cup her mound making Cadash groan. Rubbed her nub in torturously slow circles until Cadash was writhing. Josephine’s fingers stilled at her entrance,</p><p>“Do you care for it inside?”</p><p>Cadash hesitated, she’d never enjoyed being entered. Josephine saw her uncertainty and pulled her hand away but Cadash reached down and clasped her wrist, holding her still. She pressed it lightly, urging Josephine closer. Something in Josephine’s face softened,</p><p> “I’ll be gentle. And you must tell me if you wish to stop.”</p><p>Cadash nodded and tried to relax her abdomen which had clenched. Josephine noticed and kissed her slowly, languidly on the mouth while the hand between her legs circled her nub, dancing down towards her entrance but no further. Soon, Cadash felt herself going all liquid and hot again, all the tension gone, and it was only then that Josephine delicately eased one finger inside her. Cadash gasped at the feeling, Josephine was <em>inside</em> her, she could feel her touching her inner walls and her muscles jumping in response. Josephine moaned and whispered in her ear,</p><p> “You have no idea how I have dreamed of this, my lady.”</p><p>She arched her hips into Josephine, clutching her shoulders with both hands as Josephine slid another finger in and curled her fingertips, stroking and beckoning. She pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to the dwarf’s neck and collar bones, her free hand cradling her head, fingers woven into her hair. Cadash gripped Josephine’s shoulders so hard she was afraid of bruising her, but when she eased her hold, Josephine panted,</p><p>“Don’t let go of me!”</p><p>And so, she caressed her shoulder with one hand and, feeling bold, moved the other to Josephine’s rear earning a satisfied gasp from the Antivan. She felt the smooth callous on Josephine’s index finger from her pens and it made something quake in her knowing it was those long, precise fingers that wrote so elegantly inside her now. Cadash could feel her end coming and part of her wanted to ride it out but she was eager for more of Josephine so sat up and took Josephine in her lap, her long legs wrapped round her waist. She slipped her own fingers into Josephine and groaned at the way the woman’s walls clenched round her. They rode each other’s hands and Cadash took one of Josephine’s nipples into her mouth. Josephine’s mouth was occupied breathing encouragements into Cadash’s ear.</p><p>“My sweet, oh you feel just as I imagined, yes touch me, there yes, oh!”</p><p>As they neared their climaxes together her words became incoherent, a string of Antivan interspersed with cries to the Maker. Her back arched, her breast filling Cadash’s mouth who moaned at the honeyed roundness of it, sucking fervently.  Josephine’s free hand gripped her hair tightly, forcing her head up,</p><p>“Look at me! I want to see you…oh, oh Maker!”</p><p>Her final cry was half a sob as she tensed, shuddering. The sight of Josephine in ecstasy tipped Cadash over the edge and her own ending came. Josephine’s eyes had shut in pleasure, but the Inquisitor forced hers to stay open, so she could watch the Ambassador come apart. Her head was thrown back, her throat exposed and taught, sweat glistening at her collar bones where her pulse hammered. She had never looked so beautiful and Cadash felt her heart contract mirroring the movements of her inner muscles still holding onto Josephine’s fingers.</p><p>“Josephine!”</p><p>Cadash uttered the word like a prayer and knew this was what all the poems were about. This unbelievable bliss.</p><p> </p><p>*      *     *     *</p><p> </p><p>Josephine woke gradually and stretched, she should get up, there was so much to do. The fallout of the ball at Halamshiral was going to take weeks to negotiate. But instead, Josephine studied the body lying next to her, noting with concern the scars it now bore that had not been there when she first came to know it. She knew Cadash was strong but, and she would never say this to her or anyone else, there was something about the smallness of her that made Josephine want to protect her. It seemed some cruel joke that the Maker had chosen the smallest race He could to bear all that the fight would inflict. Lying here sprawled amongst clean white sheets, heavy with sleep and naked, Cadash looked impossibly vulnerable. Josephine started with her face, her eyes mapping every detail. She would have liked to trace the terrain with her fingers as well, but she did not want to wake her lover. There was the scar on her temple from her fight with Cassandra, and the tiny flecks of grit embedded there from the explosion at the Conclave and her tattoos of course. And then down her neck was the shiny smooth patch of melted flesh where the Highland Ravager had burnt her and they had no healing potions left. The long, puckered line down her torso, from her collarbone and just snaking past her breast was from that Templar in the Hinterlands – it felt so long ago now, Josephine could remember the way her heart had shuddered when the messenger had arrived at Haven to say the Herald had been cut down. And the old, old silvery lines on her back that Josephine had once spent a night reclaiming, touching and kissing them until Cadash no longer flinched at the memory of being flogged by the Carta. The circular dent in her right thigh from a pellet shot by those strange creatures they’d encountered in the Deep Roads. And the mess of her foot that had been crushed in the avalanche at Haven, how she got away with only a slight limp Josephine would never understand. And these were just the hurts that had left their mark, there was a dozen more that time or magic had healed more cleanly. It made Josephine ache to see the small, broken form and she felt the familiar urge to wrap herself round the dwarf, to cradle her in a cocoon of her own arms and legs, to tuck Cadash’s head under her chin and hold her there until all danger had passed. Josephine turned her attention to the corded muscles along her spine, the smooth expanse of her shoulders and the delicate blue-veined skin stretched over her ankle bones. The curve of her breasts and the soft dip between her hip bone and bottom rib, the thick springy curls between her legs and the callouses on her fingers from her bow.</p><p>Unable to keep from touching her any longer, she slid down the bed, so her mouth was level with Cadash’s chest and flicked her tongue over a nipple. The Inquisitor was a heavy sleeper so all she did was shift slightly and Josephine smirked, she would need to work harder it would seem. She curled her tongue round the bud and massaged the full roundness of her breast with her fingers, drawing the nipple into her mouth with her lips. Bit ever so gently on the areola and sucked with more vigour. Cadash awoke with a moan and her hands came up to weave into Josephine’s hair.</p><p>“Good morning, my lady.”</p><p>Josephine did not reply, her mouth otherwise occupied, but she hummed her approval as Cadash stroked through her hair, her nails grazing her scalp. Cadash slid a small, toned thigh in between Josephine’s legs and began to rock against her, her wetness slick against the muscles tensed to increase her friction. With her free hand, Josephine played with Cadash’s folds, spreading her wide and pinching her nub making the dwarf hiss with pain and pleasure in equal measure. It was over quickly, Josephine grinding herself on Cadash’s thigh biting down on her breast as she peaked, Cadash throwing her head back against the pillow as she cried out from Josephine’s clever fingers between her legs. As Josephine nuzzled into Cadash’s neck and wrapped her arms round her she smiled to herself, this had been a much better idea than paperwork.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Set during the end of Trespasser, Cadash must deal with several problems including the ongoing effect the Anchor is having on her.<br/>Angst alert!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Inquisitor got dressed in her formal uniform, Josephine pinning the sleeve of her left arm neatly. They stood in front of the looking glass and Cadash eyed the empty air under her forearm with distaste. Josephine wrapped her arms round her from behind and pressed a kiss to her temple though “Have I ever mentioned how handsome you are, my lady?”</p>
<p>“Only when you’re very tired or tipsy.” Cadash grinned wickedly “Or when I’m pleasuring you.”</p>
<p>Josephine swatted her but hummed in satisfaction when Cadash kissed her neck, “Thank you, it means a great deal to know you are not…repulsed by me.”</p>
<p>“Never my darling, you could never.” Josephine cupped her cheek tenderly and used her other hand to hold Cadash’s to her chest to feel her heartbeat. “Do you feel it, how it beats? It is for you.” They rested their foreheads against one another in a moment of stillness before Cadash drew herself together.</p>
<p>“We mustn’t keep them waiting any longer.”</p>
<p>“Quite right, I shall inform them you are ready.”</p>
<p>The sounds of the Council harassing Josephine even further made Cadash stride into the hall a little angrier than she had intended. She made an effort to quiet her simmering resentment and raised the book in her hand. Her speech was short, to the point and resulted in a moment of deafening silence that quickly erupted into a cacophony. Cadash heard none of it, she placed the book on the table, bowed to the Council and made her way out. <em>The time has come to sheath our swords</em>. While the Qunari plot had made her question her gut instinct to disband the Inquisition, speaking with her companions had reaffirmed her belief that the time had come to step down. True, some had argued in favour of remaining a force to be reckoned with but, their reasons for doing so had only made it clearer to Cadash that the time had come to end it. As Mother Giselle had said all those years ago, when their purpose was complete, they sheathed their swords. Thedas would have to find its own feet and it was right that it should do so, that was what they had fought for, the choice to determine its own destiny.</p>
<p>Of course, the other reason was Cadash’s ongoing attempt to tie up loose ends before it was too late for her. Though no one else knew that, not yet. Suddenly, feeling bone tired, Cadash sat on a low wall by one of the many fountains and scrubbed her face with her hand. Everyone was celebrating, the tensions between Orlais and Ferelden had been resolved, the Inquisition disbanded but the bonds of friendship created during it would stand the test of time. Thedas could look ahead to rebuilding and restoration after years of Blight, war and Corephyus. Those who knew of Fen’Harel had it hanging over them but, for tonight, they had set it aside. But Cadash could not share their joy or even their relief.</p>
<p>The truth of the anchor had been in the back of her mind since the Well of Sorrows, yet she had not understood it fully until speaking with Solas. Perhaps a part of her had always known but, until now, she had been able to deny it. She had told no one, who was there to tell? Any one of her companions would listen but the thought of their pain, anger and confusion was too much for Cadash to bear. She needed someone who understood it, who would know what to do, who would set aside emotions and look at it rationally. She missed Solas in that moment more than ever. He would know how to explain it to the others, he would understand why she could find no joy in this world, why even the kiss full of promise that Josephine had bestowed on her earlier could do nothing to alleviate the ache in her chest.</p>
<p>“Well that’s got to be the glummest victory face I’ve ever seen.”</p>
<p>She looked up to see Varric in front of her, a mug of ale in his hand. She was about to wise crack back but instead, to her horror, burst into tears.</p>
<p>“Hey, scout.” The use of his old nickname for her only made her cry harder. “What’s up?” He sat next to her and held her against his chest, the smell of cedarwood and the tickle of his chest hair helping to calm her.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. It’s just – oh Varric, I don’t even know whether I should tell anyone.”</p>
<p>“No need to be sorry. If anyone’s got the right to a good cry it’s you. You tell me what’s wrong and we’ll try to make it right.”</p>
<p>She took a deep breath and spoke quietly, “The anchor, its power, is still there. I can feel it pulling me back into the Fade. I was stuck there after I passed out, it is getting harder to leave each time I enter it.”</p>
<p>“But dwarves do not dream. We have no connection to the Fade, someone has to take us there.” Varric reasoned.</p>
<p>“While you or I would not naturally stray there without magical intervention, the anchor pulls me in, I cannot escape it.”</p>
<p>“We got rid of it. That was why we cut off your hand.”</p>
<p>“The anchor has been removed from me, but I have not been <em>disconnected</em> from it. I believe a part of me has been left behind in the Fade, a memory of myself is trapped in there from when the anchor originally became mine.”</p>
<p>“We knew that, that’s why the Divine’s spirit had you collect your memories at Adamant.”</p>
<p>“It is more than that. What we recovered were my memories but not <em>me</em>, not the essence of myself that still resides there. I cannot continue to live in two worlds, I shall become a ghost.”</p>
<p>“But, remembering things you love about this world – that will keep bringing you back won’t it?”</p>
<p>“What else is a ghost but a spirit unable to leave this world? Kept here by the power of what it once loved.”</p>
<p>“But ghosts are dead. You’re alive.”</p>
<p>“My body is here, living yes, but my soul is split. I have suspected as much for some time now.”</p>
<p>Varric was quiet for a moment and then asked, “How long have you known?”</p>
<p>“Since the Well of Sorrows. I knew it then but did not understand it fully until I spoke with Solas in the eluvians.”</p>
<p>“Well, shit.” He took her hand in his “You’re the stupidest person I know to carry that on your own all this time. Or the bravest.”</p>
<p>“How will I tell the others? You know what this means?”</p>
<p>He studied her “I know what <em>you</em> think it means… I refuse to believe it is the only answer. And you must tell the others. Ruffles has a right to know even if no one else does.”</p>
<p>“It will break her heart, Varric.”</p>
<p>“You underestimate her strength.” He stood and held out his hand for her to take “Come on scout, let’s go crash the party.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*           *          *        *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cadash sat dejected in front of her companions whilst they tried to take in what she had just told them.</p>
<p>“You knew. You knew when you asked me to cut off you hand that it would not work.” Cassandra’s eyes were dark with anger. It was not a question, it was an accusation.</p>
<p>“I hoped it might give me more time.”</p>
<p>“More time to do what? You have been keeping this from us for years! What are we to do now?” Cullen demanded, beginning his habit of agitated pacing.</p>
<p>Dorian smacked his hand on the arm of his chair “This is ridiculous, you can’t have just left part of yourself in the Fade! You’re still <em>alive</em>!”</p>
<p>“What could you possibly gain keeping this to yourself?” Vivienne asked, “What, in the Maker’s name, made you think it was a good idea?”</p>
<p>“So, you’re a <em>ghost</em> now? You’re dead?!” Sera’s ears were red, a sure sign she was getting worked up.</p>
<p>“Of course she’s not dead! Inquisitor, what you say, it cannot be true. I refuse to accept it.” Leliana had a steely glint in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Shit!” Bull had nothing else to say for himself, but he wouldn’t stop cracking his knuckles which only infuriated Cassandra further,</p>
<p>“So next you will ask me to kill you no doubt? Ask me to return you to the Fade once and for all. You have deceived us all! What <em>are</em> you?”</p>
<p>Cadash recoiled at the distrust in the Seeker’s eyes and turned to Josephine for comfort but the Antivan’s face was stone.</p>
<p>“Josephine, please…”</p>
<p>“You have done nothing to stop this, to fix it. You have known for years that it would come to this and you have allowed it to happen. Does my heart mean so little to you that you would not try to spare me this?”</p>
<p>“Josephine, I – “</p>
<p>“Enough. I cannot.” She stood and made to leave the room but Blackwall stopped her. He had remained silent amongst the furore, but he spoke now.</p>
<p>“Sometimes we lie because it will do more good than the truth. Sometimes we would protect those we love from awful truths. Sometimes, even the bravest, cannot face the truth about themselves.”</p>
<p>“<em>Nothing </em>is more important than the truth!” Cassandra smacked her hand on the table.</p>
<p>“Oh, we all know how important truth is to <em>you</em>, Seeker!” Varric said sardonically, glaring at Cassandra.</p>
<p>“And how little <em>you</em> value it Master Tethras.” Vivienne’s tone was cutting and Varric began to fume.</p>
<p>“This entire Inquisition has always been one mess of half-truths and spun stories. What will people think of us now?” Josephine demanded</p>
<p>“Will you forget about your ruddy politics for a moment?” Cullen shouted</p>
<p>“But she’s a <em>ghost</em>!” Sera was hysterical now and Leliana snapped at her,</p>
<p>“Maker! Sera, shut up or leave!”</p>
<p>“Alright, Leliana, no need to take the girl’s head off.” Blackwall stepped protectively towards Sera but Iron Bull rounded on him</p>
<p>“You’ve got some nerve handing out advice, <em>Rainier</em>!”</p>
<p>“What would you care anyway? You’re just a mercenary, you never believed in the cause to begin with. None of the rest of us got paid for our work here!”</p>
<p>“You watch your mouth…” He advanced threateningly, Dorian restraining him.</p>
<p>“Qunari!” Blackwall spit the word out and suddenly, half the room was facing off with the other half, weapons drawn and tempers flaring. The calmer ones reached to restrain those ready to draw blood whilst Cole stood in the middle trying to placate them, his voice drowned in the hubbub of insults.</p>
<p>“Enough!” Cadash thundered, her voice cracking in the air like a whip. She stood, furious, her eyes blazing with a light familiar to anyone who had ever seen the anchor at work. “I am still your Inquisitor and I will not have this hatred amongst you! I will not allow you to destroy all that we built together! Look at yourselves, stop this foolishness!”</p>
<p>She looked terrible and wonderful silhouetted by the firelight, her eyes blazing and her small form somehow magnified. The companions fell silent, chastised and subdued.</p>
<p>“Forgive me, Inquisitor. My temper got the better of me.” Cullen was the first to speak “Lady Montilyet, I must apologise for shouting at you.”</p>
<p>“And I for my own temper, Commander.” Josephine looked rather abashed.</p>
<p>“And I am sorry, Iron Bull. A foolish tongue and a hot head are poor excuse.” Blackwall reached a hand out to Iron Bull who took it wordlessly while Leliana hugged a sobbing Sera who fought against her for a moment before embracing her fully and hiccupping into her Divine robes. Only Cassandra remained rigid, her hand still on the hilt of her sword. Without a word she turned on her heel and stormed out.</p>
<p>“Cassandra!” Varric called out, scrubbing the back of his head in frustration.</p>
<p>“Give her some space. She’ll come round.” Vivienne counselled, laying her hand gently on Varric’s arm in apology. He gave one of his little head bows in acknowledgement.</p>
<p>The silence was awkward for a moment before Cadash spoke again, her voice unusually small and broken, all the power of the Inquisitor leached away. “That did not go as I would have wished.”</p>
<p>“My dear, we all owe you an apology. We <em>should</em> have been better.” Vivienne said</p>
<p>“It can’t have been easy to tell us. I’m sorry we failed you.” Cullen spoke.</p>
<p>Cadash smiled tiredly “You have never failed me Cullen. Any of you. I only wish there was a different ending to this all.”</p>
<p>“There must be. You don’t have to… you could just wait you know.” Dorian reasoned with her “I know it will kill you eventually but, well, we all die at some point. Why not fight it? Live. Live fully for as long as you can. Don’t just walk into the Fade and let it take you.”</p>
<p>“What are our options? How do we proceed?” Leliana had her old business-like look on her face, the grim determination that had brought operations to fruition through willpower alone.</p>
<p>“For tonight, we enjoy one another’s company and go to our rest. Anything else can be dealt with tomorrow, things will seem brighter in the morning.” Josephine spoke firmly. “I have arranged for the top floor of the tavern nearby to be at our disposal, a private party for only us and our closest allies. I suggest we meet there after freshening up.”</p>
<p>“Trust you to organise us even in this moment Josie.” Leliana smiled fondly “Very well, for tonight, let us simply live.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*            *                *               *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cadash sat in her room which was strangely quiet now that it was empty of all her companions. She was meant to be getting ready, but she had no willpower, no energy. Dorian had told her to fight it, to live. But how could she? Knowing that the longer she spent here the more she would fade away to nothing. Her soul was torn in two, it would never be whole while she stayed this side of the Veil. Every time she slept, she would be drawn back into the Fade, would have to fight her way back out of it to waken. She made an effort to unbutton her jacket but struggled to do it one-handed and ended up flinging an ornament at the wall and falling to her bed in despair. Just then Josephine came in looking radiant in her gold and purple gown. Cadash sat up and flicked her eyes away awkwardly. They had not been alone together since Josephine’s outburst.</p>
<p>“Cadash, I –“</p>
<p>“I didn’t tell you because I wanted to spare you the pain. I didn’t tell you because that would make it real and the thought of losing you when we had only just found one another was more than I could take. It was selfish, cowardly.”</p>
<p>Josephine stood in silence for a moment before kneeling in front of her and cupping her face, forcing Cadash to look at her. “You are not. A. Coward.” She bit the words out. “You are the bravest person I know. And I know why you didn’t tell me, to save me from suffering. Just as you always do for those you love, protecting them, sacrificing yourself for them. But let me be clear, you are <em>not</em> going to lose me. You <em>had </em>to tell me because I must know everything there is to know if I am to help you bear this burden.”</p>
<p>“I will not have you tie yourself to me when I am as good as dead. Look at me Josephine!” She ripped the pins out of her sleeve to reveal her stump and waved it in her face “I’m a cripple, I’m a ghost!”</p>
<p>Josephine grabbed her stump, gently and above the bandage, but she held it firmly all the same. “You are much more than that. You are the woman who saved Thedas from itself, from an Archdemon, from Corephyus. But more importantly, you are kind and generous and honest and brave and your smile can make my heart sing. You are the woman who duelled for my family’s honour and the right to love me. You are the woman who brings me flowers, you are my lover, my companion. Do you think I will throw all that away? Besides, it is my choice whom I tie myself to and what I do with my future.”</p>
<p>Cadash began to cry and let Josephine cradle her against her chest. They embraced desperately, trying to get closer to one another than their skins would allow. Cadash heard Josephine’s heart in her chest and pressed her mouth to it, willing it to enter her and become her own. Josephine gasped at the hot mouth through the fabric of her dress and pulled Cadash’s face up so she could kiss her. Their tears mingled on each other’s cheeks and made their lips salty. When they broke apart for air Cadash stood and fished in her pack for an object wrapped in worn velveteen. She knelt and took Josephine’s hand.</p>
<p>“I know Antivan customs, or for that matter human customs, require a ring but I hope this will serve. Dwarven tradition requires only that the gift has been crafted by the lover themselves, that no other hand has touched it.” She placed the bundle in Josephine’s palm and watched as she unwrapped the cloth to reveal the comb. Josephine’s hand flew to her mouth and her eyes shone, not daring to hope. “Josephine, will you do me the honour?”</p>
<p>“Does this mean – you want to – is this a proposal?”</p>
<p>“I wish to spend the rest of my life with you, however short it may be. I want to tell you every morning how beautiful you are and to lie in your arms every night and to bring you flowers even when we are old and grey. I understand it is unlikely we will find any authority to marry us as two women, a dwarf and a human. And I understand that marriage is a tool for forming alliances, one you may need in the days to come as you manage your family estate. And so, I am not proposing in the traditional sense.” Josephine’s face fell and Cadash hurried on “But I am asking you to bond with me. It is a Dalish custom Loranil and Neria told me about.  A promise of life-long commitment, a promise of love, service and honour. It would mean you were still free to marry should you need to, and we would not need the Chantry or anyone else’s blessing.”</p>
<p>“You have clearly thought this through very carefully. And I love you for thinking of my familial duties, for considering my culture.” Josephine arched an eyebrow “But let me make it clear – I shall <em>never</em> marry another.”</p>
<p>“Does this mean you’re saying yes?” Cadash smiled.</p>
<p>“Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes!” She laughed out loud as Cadash gave a whoop of delight and kissed her.</p>
<p>Brushing tears of joy away Cadash stood and gently slid the comb into Josephine’s hair, the gold and amethyst matching her gown, nestling in the thick black waves. Josephine admired it for a moment in the mirror and then looked aghast “But I have no gift for you!”</p>
<p>“You don’t need one.”</p>
<p>“But I must! This will never do!” She hurried towards the door “Wait here, get dressed, I shall meet you shortly and we can go to the party together.” She flew down the hall and Cadash shook her head fondly before changing her clothes as ordered.</p>
<p>She considered her dragon armour, her light chainmail and her dress uniform before deciding on a simple white cotton shirt and her old green tunic. The time for armour was at an end. She buckled a small dagger onto her belt though out of habit and pulled her quest boots on. She couldn’t do her usual half-ponytail with only one hand so brushed her hair out and left it loose. As an afterthought, she wrapped a dark green shawl round her shoulders and drew the excess up to form a hood. It brought out her eyes and hid the worst of the burn scars on her neck. <em>I look like Leliana used to,</em> Cadash thought to herself. Well, perhaps there was something comforting in hiding beneath a hood, a shield from the suffering one was trying to forget. Josephine reappeared looking flushed, but her eyes sparkled.</p>
<p>“It’s not been crafted per say but I did do the embroidery myself.”</p>
<p>She revealed a square of fabric with an intricate coat of arms on it. The Inquisitor recognised her own Cadash sigil on it and the Montilyet ship, surmounted by the Inquistion’s sunburst, eye and dagger. It was breathtakingly beautiful, the stitching incredibly fine, the colours vibrant.</p>
<p>“It’s how I imagined our crest would look, how our union would be depicted.”</p>
<p>“It’s beautiful, it must have taken you ages to sew!” Cadash exclaimed.</p>
<p>Josephine looked shy “Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but I must confess to starting it months ago.” Cadash took the fabric and grasped Josephine’s hand.</p>
<p>“I crafted the comb when we first came to Skyhold. You were not the only one daring to hope this day would come.”</p>
<p>They kissed again, lightly but full of promise of things to come. “We should go, the others will be waiting.” Josephine sighed.</p>
<p>“Yes. Only, pin this to my jerkin first. I want the world to see it, if you are happy for them to know?”</p>
<p>“I feel I may shout it from the rooftops myself!”</p>
<p>“There’s the famous Antivan exuberance!” Cadash teased while Josephine attached the crest above her heart.</p>
<p>“I am holding pins my lady, do you really wish to tease me?” Josephine replied, a wicked glint in her eyes.</p>
<p>“I beg your forgiveness my lady.” Cadash mock bowed.</p>
<p>“You shall have to show me how sorry you are later, for now, our friends await us.”</p>
<p>They linked arms and walked towards the tavern, Cadash feeling as though maybe, just maybe, she was complete after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*                         *                         *                       *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone but Cassandra was there when they arrived. To Cadash’s delight, Harding, Dagna, Sutherland, Krem and the Chargers had appeared. Even Korbin, Three-Eyes and Cillian were there. Leliana had pulled in the team from far and wide and Cadash glanced gratefully at her, the Divine nodding acknowledgement. Korbin was the first to notice the gift exchange and pick up on its meaning.</p>
<p>“You gave her the comb!” He exclaimed, slapping Cadash on the back making her knees buckle. Varric sprayed his drink laughing in delighted surprise, Dagna squealed and Harding whooped but the non-dwarves just looked bemused.</p>
<p>“We are engaged. We are to be married, in as much as society will allow it.” Josephine explained.</p>
<p>The roar of approval from Iron Bull probably woke half of Orlais but Cadash did not care, her heart was fit to burst with joy. Leliana hugged her, smiling as they remembered that talk in the rookery. Dorian shook her hand enthusiastically, as did Cullen. Blackwall had the good grace to kiss Josephine’s hand and Cadash glared at Cole to ensure he didn’t voice the man’s thoughts on this occasion. Cole, however, was lost in the tide of emotions that now surrounded him and looked overwhelmed. He smiled a little to himself though and it broadened into a beam when Maryden rested her head on his shoulder. Vivienne was admiring the comb in Josephine’s hair and making plans for the public announcement which must, of course, be made in good taste. Sera gave Cadash an uncharacteristic hug before making smooching noises and rolling her eyes. As they all settled back down to drinking and chatting Cadash found herself next to Leliana.</p>
<p>“I have sent a message to Cassandra, Inquisitor. She knows where we are and that she is welcome.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. Will she come do you think?”</p>
<p>“I cannot say for certain. She feels very strongly about honesty. I believe she cares enough for you to bring her back though.”</p>
<p>“I hope so.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps if you went and looked for her? She is proud, stubborn. As you well know. It may be that she is unable to come of her own volition.”</p>
<p>“It may just make matters worse. She was never fond of talking.”</p>
<p>“Then don’t talk to her, just be there.” Leliana’s eyes bored into her “Go to her. No excuses. I shall send a rescue party if you do not return.”</p>
<p>Cadash chuckled and threw up her hands in resignation “Very well, your wish is my command Your Perfection.”</p>
<p>She stood and pressed a kiss to Josephine’s hair “I must find her, you understand?”</p>
<p>“Of course. Go to her, I shall be here when you return.” Josephine smiled and squeezed her hand in encouragement.</p>
<p>Cadash knocked back the shot of whisky Varric passed her and gave him a grateful nod, this was going to need all her courage.</p>
<p>She left the tavern and shivered a little, it was cold for Orlais but not nearly as cold as Skyhold. She soon warmed up walking briskly towards the training ground passing several parties as she went. Orlesian nobles mingled with Fereldans, Inquisition soldiers with Chantry clergy, Templars with Mages, dwarves, elves, humans, even the odd Qunari Tal-Vashoth. It made Cadash smile to see it though she knew the spirit of unity was unlikely to last longer than the night. Cassandra was not at the training ground and Cadash frowned, unsure where to look next. She tried the Chantry, but it was empty except for a single cleric praying. Cadash recognised Mother Giselle and waited for her to finish before approaching.</p>
<p>“Inquisitor.”</p>
<p>“Revered Mother. I did not wish to disturb.”</p>
<p>“Not at all. How are you? I have not had a chance to speak with you since events took their unexpected turn.”</p>
<p>“I am relieved it’s over. To tell the truth, I do not think I could have carried on much longer.”</p>
<p>“If it was meant to be, the Maker would have given you the strength. Just as He will give you what you need to fight your next battle.”</p>
<p>“You know about the anchor?”</p>
<p>“Divine Victoria mentioned something of it. I can only say how sorry I am for you, and that I will pray for you, whatever road you choose.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. Your prayers have come to mean a great deal to me, Mother. A long way to come from our first meeting at the Crossroads. I never apologised for being so… churlish regarding your faith.”</p>
<p>“We all find faith a struggle Inquisitor, one way or the other. You will always be welcome in any Chantry I lead and, if our paths do not cross before you decide to pass through the Veil then may the Maker guide you.”</p>
<p>Cadash kissed her hand lightly before leaving, stopping when Mother Giselle called out,</p>
<p>“If you are looking for Seeker Cassandra, she is at the shrine in the West Gardens.”</p>
<p>Cadash bowed low and left, heading for the shrine. With whisky and prayers, she may just survive this encounter with Cassandra.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> *                 *               *              *                *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cassandra was stood at the shrine, staring at the candle lit there. She was not kneeling to pray nor was she hacking a dummy to pieces and Cadash could not figure out if these were good signs or not. She steeled herself and walked up to stand next to Cassandra saying nothing. There was painful silence for several moments before Cassandra spoke,</p>
<p> “You had better not be waiting for me to apologise.”</p>
<p>“Actually, <em>I</em> wanted to apologise to <em>you</em>. For deceiving you. For not being stronger. For asking so much of you, it was unfair of me. You have been my sword and shield, Cassandra, you have stood at my side through it all and I could not have wished for a better companion. Or a better friend. I shall always treasure you and our time together. That’s all I wanted to say, you are more than welcome to join us in the tavern, but I shall not disturb you here any longer.”</p>
<p>Cadash made herself turn and start walking.</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare walk away from me! Not when there’s so much left to explain!”</p>
<p>Cadash turned back “What more is there to say, Cassandra?”</p>
<p>Cassandra strode up to her, glaring down at her. “There is <em>everything </em>to say! Have you been half-dead all the time we have known you? Would you ever have told me the truth if we hadn’t forced it from you?”</p>
<p>“You did <em>not </em>force it from me! I told you of my own free will!”</p>
<p>“Only when it was clear something was wrong, Cole told us more than you might have wished whilst you lay sleeping.”</p>
<p>“What is that bothers you most? That I concealed the truth? Or that what I have told you defies all Chantry teaching? Because let me tell you, I was a mistake in your Maker’s eye long before my soul split whilst trying to save the woman <em>you</em> were meant to be protecting!”</p>
<p>Cassandra slapped her across the cheek so hard it made Cadash stumble. She put out her arm to stop her fall but there was nothing to grab. The dwarf shut her eyes bracing herself to hit the ground, but it never came. Instead, she found Cassandra’s arms around her, her face pressed against the cold metal of her breastplate. The Seeker had responded out of instinct, catching her as she fell. Cadash tried to get out of the vice-like grip and put some distance between them but she could not move. She was tired, so tired and it felt so wonderful to have someone else supporting her body weight that she collapsed even more against Cassandra’s chest. Cassandra stood stiff other than a slight tremble that could have been rage or sadness, Cadash could not tell without seeing her face. Her fingers dug into Cadash much harder than they needed to maintain her grip and the dwarf could feel bruises forming. Cassandra’s voice was thick with tears when she finally spoke.</p>
<p>“I am angry with you for not trusting me with the truth. I am angry that you were not able to save the Divine from Corphyeus, that you had to leave her behind. I am angry I trusted Solas and I am worried for the future of the Chantry in Leliana’s hands. I grieve still for Anthony, for Daniel, for all those we lost. I still question my reasons for declaring the Inquisition in the first place, I am filled with doubt. And I am tired. So tired of being strong, of being the one to swing the sword. When you asked me to cut off your hand, I felt sick, but I did it. And then, to find out it was all for nothing. Your hand, Daniel’s death, all that blood and fire and misery. All for nothing!”</p>
<p>Cadash had never heard Cassandra say so much all at once and she knew she must respond but she was still crushed against the taller woman’s chest, her arms pinioned. She squirmed a little, but Cassandra seemed oblivious, refusing to let her go.</p>
<p>“Cassandra, you’re crushing me!” she managed to gasp.</p>
<p>Cassandra looked down in a sort of daze, taking several moments to process what was happening. When her eyes did clear though she hurriedly loosened her grip and knelt to bring them face to face. She did not let go though. Her arms were still supporting her which was just as well as the dwarf could feel her legs buckling when the blood returned to her numb stump, the pain flaring with a vengeance. She used her good hand to cup Cassandra’s cheek, forcing her to look her in the eyes,</p>
<p> “How can you say it was for nothing?”</p>
<p>“Solas will tear the world apart, Corphyeus was only his puppet. We have won the battle, but we have lost the war. I lost Justinia and now, I have lost you. I could not save either of you.”</p>
<p>“I am not lost, Cassandra. Today, I made peace with Mother Giselle. I asked Josephine to marry me. None of that would have happened if not for you. I would have died within hours of coming through the eluvian if you had not cut off my hand. You have given me today, more than I could ever hope for. You gave me my life the day we met, and countless times as we fought side by side and you have given it again now. You have saved me more times than you will ever know.”</p>
<p>Cadash pressed a kiss to her forehead which seemed to finally break the Nevarran’s defences who crumpled and embraced the dwarf. Cassandra’s tears were dampening the shoulder of Cadash’s shirt as she cradled her, hugging her tightly as though trying to put the broken warrior back together. When they had both regained their composure they separated, and Cassandra stood. They clasped forearms in their old greeting of friendship and Cassandra gave a little smile,</p>
<p>“I shall not lose hope again, Inquisitor. Any time I come close to despair I shall remember this moment. Fear and doubt are not a sin, merely a chance for us to find the best in ourselves.”</p>
<p>Cadash shook her head in wonder “I sometimes forget how wise you are Seeker.”</p>
<p>Cassandra blushed but then her eyes widened suddenly, “You have proposed to Josephine?”</p>
<p>“Yes. And she has accepted.”</p>
<p>Cassandra gave a delighted laugh and took Cadash’s hand “I am so happy for you. May the Maker bring you both every happiness.”</p>
<p> “Shall we return, salroka?”</p>
<p>“Let us go home, my friend.</p>
<p> They set off towards the tavern, arm in arm and Cadash breathed a whisper of thanks to the Maker, to the Stone, to the Sky-Mother, to Mythal, to whoever was listening. And, some hours later, the first rays of sun were hitting a balcony in Orlais.  On it stood an odd assortment of people, all rather tired looking but with smiles on their faces. The dawn had come, as promised.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We say goodbye to all our brave companions. *sniff sniff* <br/>I have combined the Dalish for 'little' and 'friend' into 'da'falon' as Solas's nickname for Cadash.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And so, it came to pass that the second Inquisition came to an end. The years to follow became known as a period of tolerance, stability and co-operation, spear-headed by Divine Victoria. The Inquisition was disbanded, and its members scattered to the winds though they met once a year at Skyhold. Inquisitor Cadash left public life, rarely seen or heard of to the disappointment of many. Her experience would not have gone amiss in any of the halls of power however, unbeknownst to all but a few, her days were numbered. She returned to Antiva City with Lady Montilyet where she was warmly welcomed to the family estate. The Herald kept no journals of her own but excerpts from those of Lady Montilyet give us some insight into her time in Antiva.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Cadash sleeps peacefully some nights, able to wake and leave the Fade naturally. From what she describes, I believe it is similar to what humans call dreaming. Other nights however, she screams, fighting the bedsheets, racked in pain and terror. On these occasions I have had to hold her in my arms and coax her back with sweet words. Thankfully, the deep entrapment she experienced after her amputation has only happened once or twice since. We have found that multiple, short naps are easier than one long sleep. And in between these sleeps we work to create memories that will always be powerful enough to draw her back.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The extent of the Herald’s sacrifice would only become clear years after the Conclave of Dragon 9:40 and Thedas for the most part remained unaware of the struggle going on in Antiva. In a letter from Lady Montilyet to Seeker Pentaghast dated roughly two years after the Exalted Council, the effect on the Inquisitor is clear to be seen.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I thought perhaps I was imagining it, but my family see it too. Cadash has begun to blur at the edges, as though one is looking at her through a fog. When I mentioned it to her, she remained calm and reminded me it is to be expected. It still makes my heart ache to see her fading, even though I knew it was going to happen. You will see for yourself at Skyhold next month, but I thought to warn you beforehand. I am afraid you will find her much changed, Cassandra, she is like a shadow some days and tires easily. Perhaps seeing you and all the old companions will give her some sparkle back. Although I dread what is to come and often rage against the injustice of it all I still find myself giving thanks. For what time we have had together and that I have been able, even if only for a short while, to bring her happiness. Perhaps even some peace, Maker knows she needs it.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her final days were spent in Skyhold as this extract from Master Varric Thethras’ memoirs details,</p>
<p>
  <em>“We companions were gathered around the fire in what had been Josephine’s office during the war. Cadash settled herself on the sofa, Josephine curled up next to her resting her head on her chest, tucking her legs up. Cassandra had sat on the floor, her back resting against Cadash’s knees and her own long legs stretched out in front of her crossed at the ankle. Dorian was lounging in an armchair with Iron Bull next to him on a sea-chest he’d dragged to the hearth, Dorian absent-mindedly stroking his horns. Leliana had removed her shoes and headdress and sat on the other end of the sofa, her feet tangling with Josephine’s a little. Sera was sprawled on the floor on her tummy, her chin in her hands. Cullen had a small round stool, his mabari resting at his feet and Vivienne was in the other armchair, draping herself elegantly over it.  Cole and I were sharing a low bench, made from a polished log while Blackwall had stretched himself out on his side, propped up on his elbow.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The fire was crackling, and the rich rug and tapestries made the room cosy, it was already dark outside, but candles burned along the walls and in the candelabra suspended on chains from the ceiling. Several bottles of Sip-Sip, Rowan Rose and West Hill Brandy were scattered about although no one was drunk, only pleasantly fuzzy. We had been speaking for hours, reminiscing and catching up on each other’s lives. There was now companionable silence broken only occasionally by Cadash’s laboured breathing. We had all noticed how she had faded, an apt description considering it was the Fade that ailed her. It was unlike anything I have ever seen – a curious softening of her outline, as though she was being erased slowly. Her breathing was shallow, and she was pale with dark circles under her eyes, there was a tremor in her good hand and her eyes had got that feverish glow in them that used to flare when she used the anchor. Her voice was strong though when she spoke,</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <br/>
  <em>“Most Holy,” Leliana’s frown of chastisement made Cadash re-address her “Leliana, would you sing for us?”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Nightingale paused for a moment, considering but then smiled softly,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Of course. What would you like to hear?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cadash settled herself more comfortably before replying, “Something sweet and sad.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I told you brandy makes you melancholy!” Dorian teased but Cassandra shushed him</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“And you are incapable of any emotion that isn’t subtle.”</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The two managed to maintain a glare for a second before breaking into giggles which only set everyone else off until even Cullen and Vivienne were wiping tears of laughter from their eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It hardly seems appropriate to sing something sad now!” Leliana exclaimed, her pale cheeks flushed with merriment.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Sing a lullaby.” Cole said, speaking to the floor as was still his habit occasionally. “Soft. Warm. Safe.” He raised his head to smile “I like it when you sing.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Very well.” Leliana began to sing, softly at first, a song a mother would sing to her child. And as the verses went on and the child grew it became a farewell, Leliana’s voice growing more passionate. Her voice cracked a little on the last refrain and none were dry-eyed when she finished.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Beautiful.” Cole mumbled through tears and I laid a hand on his knee to comfort him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Josephine gave a watery smile, “It was wonderful, Leliana.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She held the Divine’s hand in her own, squeezing it whilst Cassandra brushed at her eyes furtively and wordlessly accepted a large handkerchief from Cullen.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Quite lovely, my dear.” Vivienne sounded unusually sincere. “Did you enjoy it darling?” She turned to Cadash whose eyes were still shut in enjoyment. “Inquisitor?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There was no response from the dwarf.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“She’s fallen asleep, poor dear.” Vivienne said but Cole stood up, agitated.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“She’s not here. She’s floating. She’s leaving.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Josephine sat up and shook her “Cadash? No, no! Not yet, please…” she pleaded “There is still time, we can still fight. There is so much still to do.” She rounded on Cole “Bring her back! Like you did before.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I can’t! She wants to sleep, she’s tired.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Josie. It’s time.” Leliana laid a gentle hand on Josephine’s shoulder.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No! No, please…” Josephine began to cry, kissing Cadash’s face but it remained still and lifeless.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I can’t hear her anymore.” Cole sounded bewildered but there was a finality to his next words, “She’s gone.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cassandra’s fingers gently sought a pulse at Cadash’s neck, as they’d done so often before but this time, found only stillness. She knelt at the sofa, waited a moment, for the miracle, but there was none. Fresh tears blurred her vision and she pressed a kiss to the dwarf’s forehead,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Maker take you into his hands.” her voice cracked, and the Seeker bowed her head in sorrow.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sera knuckled her eyes furiously and Blackwall laid his forehead in his palm, staring hard at the ground. Cole rocked gently, Dorian had his knuckles against his mouth holding his grief at bay and Iron Bull’s fists were clenched so hard they had gone white at the knuckles. Cullen stood and leant with both hands on the table, head bowed, trying to swallow his pain. Vivienne stared out the window, trying to compose herself while all I could manage was a tired,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Shit.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Leliana had silent tears on her cheeks and was knocked back with the force of Josephine falling into her arms, the Ambassador’s wail piercing the night. Josephine’s cries were all the worse because no one would ever expect such awful sounds to come from the usually composed and decorous woman.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*      *      *     *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cadash found herself in what looked like the Emerald Graves and looked around puzzled. There was a gentle breeze rustling the myriad of leaves and the sun was warm on her back. It took her a moment to remember that she was supposed to be dead. However, before she could begin to puzzle over it there was a deep, calm voice behind her, eerily familiar.</p>
<p>“Aneth ara, da’falon.” She whirled round and saw Solas.</p>
<p>“You! You cannot be…” Cadash paused, trying to think hard “Are you dead too?”</p>
<p>Solas tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with amusement “No. Neither are you. At least, not yet.”</p>
<p>Cadash rubbed her temples, it was so hard to think. “You’re laughing at me.”</p>
<p>“I am doing no such thing.” Solas protested</p>
<p>“I can hear you, you’ve got that little smirk you used to do when I was being slow.”</p>
<p>Solas studied her for a moment before replying “I have never mocked you, Durgen’len, if I smile it is in wonder, out of curiosity. You never fail to surprise me. Even when faced with your own death you still search for answers, for understanding.”</p>
<p>“So I am dead then.”</p>
<p>“Yes, and no. Come, sit with me.” Solas gestured to some boulders and they perched together on one, their legs dangling over the edge. “We are in the Fade. You have crossed the Veil for the last time, but you have not yet gone beyond the Fade. In all your travels here before, sleeping and in the flesh, you did not leave the Fade itself.”</p>
<p>“There is something beyond it? The Maker? Halls of the Ancestors?”</p>
<p>“I cannot say, even I have not travelled that far.”</p>
<p>“But we’re in the Emerald Graves… oh! You’re Dreaming this aren’t you, you’re manipulating the Fade?”</p>
<p>“Quite. You were always fond of the forests here if I remember. I sensed your passing and hurried here to meet you. I have been waiting, watching.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>Cadash looked at him properly for the first time. He looked older somehow, still elegant and majestic in his Sentinel armour, but his eyes were shadowed. He waited some moments, considering her question, his long fingers turning a pebble back and forth.</p>
<p>“Would you believe me if I said because you are my friend and I wished to say goodbye?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to believe anymore, Solas.” She kicked the boulder with the heel of her boot, “I wish, you’d been there. When I had to explain to the others about the anchor, the part of me that was lost. I wish you could have seen me marry Josephine. I wish we could have been enough for you, salroka.”</p>
<p>“So do I, lethallin.”</p>
<p>Cadash reached out her good hand and placed it on Solas’. He turned his palm upwards and grasped hers in return. They sat in silence for a while, nothing more could be said that the other did not already know. Cadash inadvertently gave a small chuckle though at the thought of Cassandra’s fury if she could see them. Solas turned to her, his eyebrows questioning her. She explained,</p>
<p>“I am imagining the look on Cassandra’s face if she knew I hadn’t cut you down where you stand.”</p>
<p>Solas gave a little smile “I believe she would surprise you. I have never known a woman so wise without realising it herself.”</p>
<p>“She missed you, you know.”</p>
<p>“I still watch them sometimes, from afar, in their dreams. All of them. It makes me happy.”</p>
<p>“Leliana would have a fit. The thought of you spying on us.”</p>
<p>Cadash was about to say more but gasped at a sharp tugging sensation in her chest. Solas turned to her and held her hand up to inspect it. The dwarf winced when she saw it was see-through and that Solas’ fingers were gripping shimmering air.  </p>
<p>“Time grows short. I cannot hold you here much longer. You must choose, Inquisitor, to travel on or to stay here. If you stay you will become a ghost – that which makes you <em>you</em> will dissolve, as it has done slowly in the waking world over the years. You will wander the Fade, able to communicate with Dreamers, able to observe across the Veil, but it will not be <em>you</em>.”</p>
<p>“My spirit?”</p>
<p>“No. Your spirit, or rather your soul, is what is being pulled onwards. You would be <em>a</em> spirit, but not your own.”</p>
<p>“And if I go?”</p>
<p>Solas spread his hands in a shrug and stood. He held out his hand to help her up “I do not know but, if you should choose to leave, I would not have you travel alone.”</p>
<p>He beckoned and Cadash saw a young man come close. Or rather, the silhouette of a young man. “I have brought you a guide. This is a spirit of Faith, well-practiced in leading souls onwards.”</p>
<p><br/>Faith clasped his fists over his heart “Welcome Cadash, Stone-Daughter. You are known here, Herald, you shine brightly to us.”</p>
<p>Cadash bowed her head in greeting and then looked at Solas “Will you watch them for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Give Josephine sweet dreams, will you? I can’t bear the thought of her pain.”</p>
<p>“They will all sleep well tonight, myself and spirits will walk with them.”</p>
<p>“Atrast nal tunsha, Solas.”</p>
<p>“Dareth shiral, da’falon.”</p>
<p>Solas swallowed the lump in his throat as Cadash turned to the patiently waiting spirit and spoke,</p>
<p>“I am ready.”</p>
<p>Solas held his breath, Faith never took souls onwards until that statement was true. But Faith replied,</p>
<p>“Then come. It is not far.”</p>
<p>Solas watched as the pair moved off towards the horizon, two shapes not fully formed. It did not surprise him to see Cadash shone, as Cole and Faith had described. He had seen much in his long life and would see even more in the years to come but the sight of a dwarf eagerly conversing with a spirit as they disappeared from view was not one he would ever forget. The elf sighed, he should waken, there was work to be done but first, he had a promise to keep. He sought out spirits of Compassion, Faith, Hope, Wisdom, Valour, Justice and Purpose until he had a host of glowing spirits at his side. And then, he began to weave dreams to heal and comfort those who had been left behind.</p>
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